everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
