His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
