naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
