is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You ruined the universe
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
