Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
