I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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