Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just want nice things and good sex
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
