Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You're like the curious george of whores
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
