we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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