Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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