You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She made me pour olive oil on her.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
