Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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