I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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