I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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