What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
