Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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