i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
