are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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