Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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