"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
