so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
vagina is talking i cant
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
