oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
