Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
