My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
