just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
