One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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