Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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