new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
