Already got asked if we're dating
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
