I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
