last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
