And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
