I never want to see another naked old woman again.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
