Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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