we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
