I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
