I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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