Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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