dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
now i know why i became what i already was.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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