Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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