If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you would pick up someone in the library
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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