The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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