fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
you traded sex for a burrito?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
