In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
