my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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