Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
