pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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