3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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