OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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