So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
