Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
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