:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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