Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
