Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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